Secondi piatti: the divine comedy.

Italy is a paradox, worthy of Da Vinci's laborious designs.

The country is in no hurry. Locals meander the streets as if crawling on their feet and dinners last hours, and yet people shove one another to pack in to subway cars so as not to have to wait for the next one, the sound of horns on some, if not most, streets in Rome literally never ends, and people will cut in front of everyone else in line at every possible opportunity. It manages to be everything, all at once.

But its duality should not have surprised me. The same national womb gave us both Michelangelo and Machiavelli. One nation managed to inspire and foster the Renaissance as well as elect Silvio Berlusconi. Twice. And he doesn't even keep the trains running on time.

I left Rome 2 days ago, and the best way that I can describe it is that it's the greatest city in the world that I would never want to go back to. I tend to prefer cities over villages, and it holds an embarrassment of riches, historical and religious on an unparalleled scale, and some astonishing pieces of art. Whereas my favorite city I visited during my two and a half weeks in Italy, the miniscule Siena, has almost nothing of any cultural or historical significance whatsoever, and yet I feel compelled to walk within its brown walls once again. Which is to say, spend time in Italy, and you fall victim to the paradox as well.

Its enigmatic duality stretches to the point that at times I thought I was in a different Italy than everyone else had been to. Milan, a major city that I was told by several people to not even bother visiting, held two of the absolute highlights of my time in the country. Its Duomo is the most gorgeous cathedral exterior I have ever seen (and considering my itinerary of the last two months, that is a serious statement), and Da Vinci's Last Supper, a work I considered utilitarian at best a few weeks ago, managed to knock me on my ass with awe in person. And in terms of food, that fun fact you've probably heard, that no one in Italy actually eats pizza, that it's an American dish.... jaw-droppingly wrong. It's everywhere, it's amazing, and maybe ten percent of the orders I overheard in the many pizzerias I went to were in something other than fluent Italian. So hit the next person that tries to tell you that.

And just quickly, while we're on the subject of idiocy.... if you ever get the opportunity to visit Italy, and make it out to Pisa, please do NOT take a picture where you're holding up the Leaning Tower. It's not just that it's unspeakably lame and unfunny, it's what the vast majority of tourists who visit do (saw at least 75 people do it in the span of less than an hour), so you're not being remotely original. So come on, people. You're better than that. (Well, I already know YOU guys are... you're my friends, you'd have to be).

Paradoxes? Duality? That's what we were on? .... Look at the Roman Empire in general. Their entire reputation was built on their romantic paganism, their persecution of Christians. And then they hit the year 380 and make it the official religion. I'm not going to go in to the Vatican issue, but if you ever visit, please keep in mind the whole "Lenders in the Temple" episode as you pass by the gift shops with awkward souvenirs for sale on the actual church grounds. In their defense much fewer than the rest of Rome, but still. Doesn't sit right.

All of this contradiction forces one to submit to the glorious lunacy of Italy. It just can't be taken seriously, and maybe that's what makes your time there so enjoyable. The only way to deal with it all is to laugh it off, and do as the Romans do, preferably with a glass of the house red in hand.


Rome:
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